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The Dirtiest Campaign Speech Anthony Weiner Never Gave

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By Le Corbeaunoir Danger

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Some friends and I were drinking beer the other night while watching the news about New York mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner and his latest apology for emailing photos of his crank and texting dirty on the internet.  One of my friends then reminded me that I used to be a sometimes speech writer for a local politician back in my native state of New York, and dared me to write a campaign speech I would like to see Weiner give.  After a few more beers, I accepted the challenge and wrote the following parody:
New York mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner

New York mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner

“Hello.  My name is Anthony Weiner and I’m running for Mayor of New York.  Yes, I want to be the Big Apple’s Big Weiner.

“I thank the Democrat Party for enabling me all of these years.  I could not have become all that I symbolize today without the generous encouragement and support of the Democrat Party.  I also thank my wife for enabling me to be the kind of person I am.  Her approval is what has allowed me to stay in this race and get closer to putting my hand on the keys to the city.  The Democrat Party and my wife have freed me from the burdens of good character and common decency, allowing me to flagrantly engage in my own special brand of degeneracy without fear of moral recrimination or political consequences.  Their support has never gone limp.  For this I will always owe them my amazing political viability.

“Standing fully erect before you today, I say that what City Hall needs is a 6-foot-5-inch Weiner thrust deeply into the seat of government.  Not just any Weiner, but a Weiner that has performed before the entire world.  A Weiner we all have come to know.

“I say that when voters go into those little booths to stroke their ballots in private, I want them to stroke one for me.  My new campaign slogan is simple and direct: ‘Stroke Weiner When You Vote.’

“As I look down at New York City spread widely before me, I see a city that craves Weiner.  A city that just can’t get enough of Weiner.

“Thinking about how New York wants Weiner has made my political determination rigid and firm, and pointed me in the direction I am taking today.

“And to those who moan that I have gone far enough and now need to quickly pull out of the race, I have this to say: First of all, my pulling out now would be premature, and would leave voters frustrated and unsatisfied.  I want to stimulate and satisfy every voter I can between now and Election Day, or my sexting pseudonym isn’t Carlos Danger.

Weiner for Mayor Logo“Second of all, I intend to stick it out.  I intend to stick it out all over our great city.  I intend to stick it out all over the internet and on cable television.  I intend to stick it out in every borough and neighborhood, in and out of every venue I can until the body of voters beg me to please stop because it can’t take any more Weiner.

“I am, above all, a hands-on candidate eager to plunge deeply into the body politic, and my campaign organization has the stamina to go all the way, and then some.

“Size matters, and we are campaigning big.  Our massive voter communication and social networking effort has exposed more of me to more voters than any other candidate in this race, especially on Twitter.  It has made “Weiner” a household word.

“Now, there will be a lot of hot, sweaty campaigning between now and the September 10 primary, and the job will get even dirtier between then and the final election on November 5, but I am confident that I will always end up on top of all the other bodies in the pile.

“My campaign organization will swell and rub against millions of Gothamites, probing them at every turn.  I will be going in and out of every community that lets me in, moving deeper and deeper, again and again, slowly at first, and then in ever-quickening thrusts to the pulsating rhythm of raw political intercourse, heaving and groaning, until climaxing on  Election Day in a spectacular, orgasmic release of political inhibition.  And, after the full rapture of the campaign leaves us exhausted and fully pleasured, the campaign will roll over and have a cigarette.

“I say come with me.  Come with me all the way through the campaign, and enjoy the sweet, indescribable joy of sticking a great big Weiner into the City of New York Mayor’s seat.

“Thank you all, and please remember to Stroke Weiner When You Vote.”

Written by Le Corbeaunoir

July 25, 2013 at 11:38 am

Bill Foster is Running for Re-Election as Mayor of St. Petersburg

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Bill Foster, Mayor of St. Petersburg

Bill Foster, Mayor of St. Petersburg

Commentary by GH Khan

The nonpartisan race for Mayor of St. Petersburg matters, and the time has come for conservatives of all stripes to fully and without reservation back the re-election of Bill Foster for Mayor of St. Petersburg.

That is the message emerging from a series of polls that show Foster trailing challengers Kathleen Ford and Rick Kriseman in the run-up to the August 27 St. Petersburg primary.  Conservatives need to set aside their disappointments with Foster over his often folksy, rather ambiguous, and sometimes downright mushy approach to many of the issues facing our fair city.  In particular, conservatives will have to overlook His Honor’s deficient leadership over issues surrounding The Pier.

This is a nonpartisan race with far-ranging consequences.  The chief executive of Florida’s third-largest city has influence far beyond City Hall, and far beyond the city limits.  This means that the more conservative the mayor is the more favorable the political environment will be for conservatives and their ideas, and that is why this race matters to conservatives.

It is extremely unlikely at this point that any candidate in the mayor’s race will receive the required 50% of the vote plus one to win the race in the August 27 St. Petersburg Primary, which means that there will be a November run-off between the two top vote getters.  The two biggest threats to Foster’s re-election are Ford and Kriseman.  The other two candidates in the race, Anthony Cates and Paul Congemi, are unlikely to have any statistically significant impact on the race.  Ford and Kriseman each show stronger polling strength than Foster, and Foster will have to beat at least one of them in the primary in order to be in the running in the November election.  Kriseman, an unremarkable garden-variety liberal Democrat, is seen by some as more beatable by Foster in November than remarkable progressive Democrat Ford would be, making Ford the candidate Foster must best in the primary.

To know Bill Foster is to like him.  The Mayor has done a lot of good campaigning to date, and has garnered a lot of important endorsements, but there is a lot more to be done.  Foster needs to shore up his base and, to the extent possible, expand his appeal to other voters.  He needs to send to voters a sharp, clear message of accomplishments and the path he will take to further accomplishments in his next term.  He needs to define his candidacy and the issues of the election, and not cede the initiative to his challengers to define things for him:  E.g., The Pier is only one of many issues facing St. Petersburg voters, and not the most important one in this election.  No more muddled, ambiguous pandering that appeals to all and satisfies none.  He needs to reconnect to social conservatives of all types, and not just the local Republican hierarchy (Foster is a Republican).  He badly needs to repair his relationship with St. Petersburg’s African-American community, which has a history of being very forgiving of political trespassing.  He needs to raise a boatload of money and use it to saturate the available media with his improved message.  Perhaps Foster also needs a new consultant, one who has an intimate understanding of the politics of The Burg and can generate a winning strategy that will get Foster through the primary and on to victory in November.

Kathleen Ford, candidate for Mayor of St. Petersburg

Kathleen Ford, candidate for Mayor of St. Petersburg

So, what’s not to like about Ford?

Kathleen Ford has unsuccessfully run for Mayor of St. Petersburg twice previously, losing the first time to Rick Baker and losing the second time to Bill Foster.  She has previously served on the City Council.  Ford is presently riding a wave of notoriety arising from her litigation over The Pier.  This will give her an edge with many of the voters who will be voting on The Pier in the August primary.  This popularity is, however, very thin and is undercut by several of Ford’s strong negatives.  To know Kathleen Ford is to have strong feelings about her; indeed, one of the jokes going around town lately is that “Will Rogers never met Kathleen Ford.”*  Ford  has been described as being self-righteous, condescending and rude to those who disagrees with her.  She also has been criticized for  being reluctant to admit  when she is wrong, and being given to blame others for her failings, as when in her 2009 campaign for mayor she disingenuously tried to blame her use of the racially offensive term “HNIC” on the radio host who was interviewing her when she used it.  It was this insensitivity and ignorance that earned Ford condemnation from distinguished St. Petersburg Times columnist Bill Maxwell and effectively destroyed her bid for mayor that year.  Her overall judgment and competency as an attorney is also questionable in light of the debacle she made of her lawsuit against the City of St. Petersburg over the closing of The Pier, in which she made an ill-fated attempt to join as “indispensable parties” in the suit the more than 15,000 persons who signed the petition to get The Pier on the August ballot.

Ford also has been accused of being self-serving, and some have opined that Ford’s initiation of this ill-fated lawsuit was just a gimmick to get her name in the press and heighten her visibility prior to her run for mayor.  She also has been accused of being a loose cannon, which is one of the main reasons that the pro-abortion group Ruth’s List Florida  will not back her in this election, despite her credentials as a progressive.For conservatives, there is a lot about Ford to dislike.  During the June 28 mayoral candidate debate sponsored by the NAACP, Ford prattled on about, among other things, the need for “affordable” (read: taxpayer-funded) housing, her opposition to police chases, and her belief in (Republican) voter suppression.  In past elections Ford has been enthusiastically supported by the SEIU, the Suncoast Sierra Club, and the Florida National Organization of Women Political Action Committee.  Ford can fairly be described as a pandering progressive who favors big government with an authoritarian bent, making it very unlikely that she would be willing to work with members of the City Council to forge the sort of consensus that allows city government to serve its citizens effectively.

There is not much time left for conservatives to get in the game.  St. Petersburg has chosen not to do early voting, but voting by mail is an option.  The deadline to mail ballots to overseas and absent military voters is July 13; the deadline to begin to mail ballots to domestic voters is July 23.  The voter registration deadline is July 27.  The polls open on August 27 at 7:00 AM and close at 7:00 PM.  Don’t forget to bring some identification.

__________

* American humorist Will Rogers is famously quoted as having said that he never met a man he didn’t like.

Who is Anthony Cates and Why is He Running for Mayor of St. Petersburg?

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By GH Khan

Anthony Cates for Mayor Cropped 995415_292983784181058_1536351295_n

Anthony Lenard Cates, candidate for Mayor of St. Petersburg, Florida.

Who is Anthony Lenardo Cates and why is he running for Mayor of St. Petersburg?

Cates, age 23, is a newcomer to St. Petersburg politics who is not known to have had any prior interest in the subject.  In the balkanized demographics and byzantine politics of the great City of St. Petersburg, some see the Cates campaign as part of the effort of supporters of the incumbent mayor to split the opposition among the city’s African-American voters, who tend to vote in a block and have a history of supporting the winner in mayoral races.  There currently are 5 candidates in the race, including the incumbent Bill Foster, Rick Kriseman, Kathleen Ford, Paul Congemi, and Cates, making it unlikely that any candidate will get the required 50% plus one vote to take all in the August 27th primary election.  This, the speculators allege, provides an incentive for the incumbent campaign to encourage vote-splitting that prevents the strongest challenger, Ford, from surviving the primary.  No one is accusing His Honor or any of his supporters of doing anything illegal, and many brush off such speculation as nothing more than election-time paranoia.  At the same time, no one in the neighborhood is saying that Cates is running because this is America and everyone deserves a shot at becoming mayor.

Still, there are a few odd things that do bear mentioning.

Read the rest of this entry »

Brian Battaglia Files for Pasco-Pinellas Circuit Court Judge in Group 16

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BrianBattaglia

Atty. Brian P. Battaglia, candidate for Circuit Court Judge.

Atty. Brian P. Battaglia has filed with the Florida Secretary of State, Division of Elections, to run for Circuit Judge in the 2014 elections. Battaglia is seeking the Group 16 seat in Florida’s Sixth Judicial Circuit.  That seat is currently occupied by Judge Walter Logan, who is expected to retire when his current term expires at the end of 2014. If elected, Battaglia will take office in January 2015.  The Sixth Circuit comprises Pasco and Pinellas counties.  Battaglia filed his initial paperwork on June 28, 2013.  There currently is no other candidate in this race.

Battaglia has practiced law in the Sixth Circuit for over 25 years.  He has a Avvo rating of 10, which equates to “superb,” and has a Martindale-Hubbell peer rating of 4.9 out of a possible 5.0, which equates to “preeminent.”   His practice has included representing clients in criminal and civil matters in state and federal court, through all levels of litigation up to and through the trial and appellate stages.  He also has considerable experience in mediation and alternative dispute resolution.  He is married and has two children.

The primary election will be held on August 26, 2014, and will be preceded by absentee and early voting.  The general election will be held on November 4, 2014.  The absentee “send” deadline for the primary will be July 12 and for the general election will be September 20.  Early voting for the primary will be August 16-23, and for the general election will be October 25-November 1.

Further information about Brian Battaglia can be found on his law firm website and his LinkedIn Profile.  As of June 30, 2013 his campaign had not yet posted a public campaign website or social media campaign sites.

UPDATE (July 21, 2013):  The Battaglia campaign has added a campaign website.

Is It Time to Get Rid of the Constitution?

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By Spartacus Thrace

the-constitutionAs 2013 dawns across America, the Progressive Movement appears to be at the zenith of their power within the federal government and throughout major sectors of American society and culture.  Buttressed by decades-long control or domination of the academy, the theater, the press, labor, and the Democratic Party, the Progressives have fundamentally changed the state of the nation by creating a secular utopian statist path as an alternative to the religious individualistic minimalist government path set down by the Founders two centuries ago and expressed in the obligations of the government to the governed they enshrined in the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution.

The Declaration has long been treated by many in power as an irrelevant historical relic.  The radical notion that the Constitution is a “living document” has gained wide adherence across several parts of the societal spectrum, even among those who hold themselves out as experts on matters of constitutional law.  America is now governed by a semi-permanent ruling class, engaged in rampant self-entitlement, seeing itself as separate and apart from — and superior to — the governed.  The notions of the American melting pot of disparate peoples and American exceptionalism have been lost to Balkanization of the population along the classic imaginary socialist fault lines of race, ethnicity, gender, and class.  The fundamental concept of minimalism — where the power of government is a revocable grant from the governed and the government has only that power and authority necessary to perform the essential duties entrusted to it by the governed — has long been smothered by massive growth in the size, power, and reach of the federal government and the concomitant decrease in individual liberty. Read the rest of this entry »

The Obama Campaign Follows a Porn Feed on Twitter

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By Spartacus Thrace

We rightfully expect political candidates and the people around them to be morally upright and of excellent character as a condition precedent to the ability to properly conduct themselves in the affairs of government if and when elected.  The fact that a candidate for public office has pornography on his or her computer or subscribes to a pornography feed should be big news in any election, as it says a lot about the morals and character of the candidate.  Presidential candidates and their committees are no exception.  That is why it is significant and relevant to the election of our next President that the Barack Obama campaign subscribes to the pornography feed, https://twitter.com/ILikeTitsDaily, which features a daily posting of (often gaudy) photographs of the exposed breasts of women. Sometimes the breasts are not completely exposed, often the breasts are framed without showing even the faces of the women, and the sexual organs are exposed in some of the photographs.

Screenshot from @ILikeTitsDaily, showing image dated September 25, 2012.

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Anita Perry: The Next First Lady?

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By Allah Palooza

Anita Perry, wife of Texas Governor Rick Perry

Some of us have already started wondering (and even hoping) about who the next First Lady of the United States (FLOTUS) will be. Most of us are thinking that Michelle Obama won’t be getting another four years, and that just about anyone else would be an immense improvement.

With the critical 2012 election still more than a year away and Texas Governor Rick Perry surging in popularity among Republicans, Governor Perry’s wife, Anita Thigpen Perry, came to Pinellas County Saturday night, September 17th, to be the keynote speaker at the Pinellas County Republican Executive Committee (PCREC) Reagan Day Dinner.

According to her official biography, Anita Perry is a native Texan from Haskell. Mrs. Perry earned a bachelor’s degree in nursing from West Texas State University, now West Texas A&M University, and a master’s degree from the University of Texas Health Science Center in San Antonio. She worked as a nurse for 17 years in surgery, pediatrics, intensive care, administration and teaching. She and Gov. Perry have been married for almost 30 years and have two grown children. She has been a strong partner with her husband, who presently is the longest-serving governor in the history of Texas, and she has been actively involved in supporting a variety of economic initiatives and innovations in her home state.

So, is Anita Perry ready for prime-time, in the sense of filling her place on the national and international stage, should her husband become the next President of the United States?

If her Reagan Day speech is an accurate measure of her talents and abilities, she has great promise but still has some work to do.

Anita Perry is a good person, and goes out of her way to make those around her feel comfortable. She is sincere, down-to earth (unlike the current FLOTUS), and very family-oriented. She devoutly believes in her husband and shares traditional American values. She is smart, and did an excellent job setting out her husband’s record as a jobs creator. She was, however, a bit too folksy, spoke about five minutes longer than she should have, told the audience too little about her husband, and had some difficulty wrapping up her speech. Yet, it was refreshing to listen to a  person speaking from the heart who connects with ordinary people, and who shows neither aloofness nor a desire to take on the trappings of elitist condescension. I, like many others in the room, went away from her speech hoping that she will be the one measuring the drapes in the White House in January 2013.

Mrs. Perry’s speech in its entirety may be viewed in the following video [Courtesy PCREC]:

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